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ุจูุณู’ู…ู ูฑู„ู„ูŽู‘ูฐู‡ู ูฑู„ุฑูŽู‘ุญู’ู…ูŽูฐู†ู ูฑู„ุฑูŽู‘ุญููŠู…ู Wednesday, 11 March 2026 Al Arba'a, 22 Ramaแธฤn 1447 AH
Hadith of the Day: ุฎูŽูŠู’ุฑู ุงู„ุฏูู‘ุนูŽุงุกู ุฏูุนูŽุงุกู ูŠูŽูˆู’ู…ู ุนูŽุฑูŽููŽุฉูŽ "The best supplication is on the Day of Arafah." — Tirmidhi (แธคasan)
Social Matters | Mar 10, 2026 | 2 min read

Marriage Delay and Family Conflict

Question

We are 4 sisters. I am the third one. I have 2 elder sisters, one is 27 and other is 25. My parents are getting them married, they fear that my sisters might end up in wrong household. with fear of that, they are not marrying them. My second elder sister, who is 25, had a connection with a guy on phone and wanted to marry him. My parents said no, and they mentally tortured her, even its been some years and my father still doesn't talk to her, just because she offered her own proposal in front of my parents. Later, it was found out that my parents were right and that guy was not a good person. But now, after some years, she has another guy with whom she is talking, and today his mother came for my sister's hand, and my mother rejected. and my mother is saying that the guy is not good. In short, my parents don't want us to ever talk to a guy, and they are not even marrying my sisters as well. I don't know what my parents want. Its like the matter of pride for my parents. My sisters see and think that our parents doesn't think about them, as they are not doing anything to marry them. But my sisters has reached the age. Now everyone is thinking that the sister who came up with her own proposals twice is characterless. because they suspect, and have sometimes seen that she send him pictures, and is romantically involved with him. I also think my parents are somewhat responsible for this behaviour of hers, she is also stupid. I want to end this suffering, i don't know how to do that islamically. I don't want to do wrong to either my sister or my parents. I don't know how i can get my parents to marry them. I have tried talking to them multiple times, but they told me to stay away from this. How am i supposed to stay away even though i am also effected by that. The marriage standard of my mother is so high, that its nearly impossible to find such a guy and family to be honest. We are a middle class family, and my mother wants to marry us to an extremely upper class family, with servants, cars, businesses etc. She doesn't understand that upper class only marries in upper class. Instead she should see whether the family is islamic, etc etc. note: my parents had love marriage...kind off. their marriage is a disaster and torture or us and for them too. they think love marriage will only end up like theirs. Also, my mother hides the doings of my sister from my father, if he came to know everything, things would get real messy. I don't know what am i suppoosed to do in this situation?

Islamic Ruling & Answer

Verified

From your description, it appears that this issue has been ongoing in your home for quite some time and it has caused distress for everyone. In Islam, the teaching is that if a suitable and religious marriage proposal comes, the marriage should not be delayed without a valid reason. The Prophet ๏ทบ said:

ุฅูุฐูŽุง ุฌูŽุงุกูŽูƒูู… ู…ูŽู† ุชูŽุฑู’ุถูŽูˆู’ู†ูŽ ุฏููŠู†ูŽู‡ู ูˆูŽุฎูู„ูู‚ูŽู‡ู ููŽุฒูŽูˆูู‘ุฌููˆู‡ูุŒ ุฅูู„ูŽู‘ุง ุชูŽูู’ุนูŽู„ููˆุง ุชูŽูƒูู†ู’ ููุชู’ู†ูŽุฉูŒ ูููŠ ุงู„ู’ุฃูŽุฑู’ุถู ูˆูŽููŽุณูŽุงุฏูŒ ุนูŽุฑููŠุถูŒ

โ€œWhen someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you with a marriage proposal, then marry (your daughter) to him. If you do not do so, there will be great fitnah and widespread corruption on the earth.โ€

Therefore, parents should not make wealth, high social status, or worldly standards the main criteria. Rather, the real criteria should be religion, good character, and a respectable family. Unnecessarily delaying marriage can sometimes become a cause of fitnah and hardship.

On the other hand, it is also very important to understand that having secret relationships with a non-mahram man before marriage, engaging in romantic conversations, or sending pictures is not permissible in Islam. Therefore, your sister should sincerely repent from this action and avoid such interactions completely in the future. Even if the intention is marriage, choosing a haram path is not correct.

The better approach for you is to speak to your parents with respect and gentleness, not in a confrontational or blaming manner. If they are not listening to you, try to involve a wise elder from the family, a trusted relative, or a reliable Islamic scholar who may help explain the situation to them so that a reasonable solution can be found. At the same time, advise your sister to practice patience and taqwa and not fall into any wrong path.

Such relationships may appear to be a solution temporarily, but in many cases they later become a cause of sin, disgrace, and family conflicts. This is why Islamic teachings strongly warn against such relationships before marriage.

Wazifa (supplication):

For seeking Allahโ€™s help, recite frequently the following supplication:

ุฑูŽุจูู‘ ุฅูู†ูู‘ูŠ ู„ูู…ูŽุง ุฃูŽู†ู’ุฒูŽู„ู’ุชูŽ ุฅูู„ูŽูŠูŽู‘ ู…ูู†ู’ ุฎูŽูŠู’ุฑู ููŽู‚ููŠุฑูŒ

(Surah Al-Qasas: 24)

Also make it a habit to recite Istighfar (seeking forgiveness) 100 times and Durood (salutations upon the Prophet ๏ทบ) 100 times daily, and sincerely pray to Allah to ease the situation and create the best solution for the family.

May Allah bring ease and goodness to the situation in your home. 

Answered by

Mufti Tosif Qasmi

March 10, 2026