Question
In desi culture, women's opinion doesn't matter most of the time. A woman can be suffering in her marriage, being abused and neglected. Sometimes the children suffer too but she will be told to endure and compromise because a good woman obeys her husband. People might even blame her for her husband's bad attitude towards her. If she finally leaves the marriage or seeks help, everyone turns against her for trying to save herself and her children. Desi's value culture more than religion, I need advice
Islamic Ruling & Answer
VerifiedSaying that “a woman must endure everything no matter what” is not Shariah—it’s a wrong cultural mindset given the name of religion. Islam never teaches that a woman should keep suffering abuse or sacrifice her dignity and peace. A husband is to be obeyed only in what is right and lawful, not in cruelty, abuse, or injustice.
If a man Cruelty his wife, does not fulfill her rights, or makes life unbearable, she is not told to stay silent. Rather, she has the full right to stand up for herself. And if things do not improve, Shariah allows her to seek separation (khula).
However, efforts should first be made to make the husband understand, and both sides should seriously try for reconciliation and improvement, doing everything possible to save the marriage. Because divorce and khula, although permissible and allowed, are disliked, so it is better to avoid them as much as possible. But this does not mean that a woman should continue to endure (abuse).
So blaming the woman or telling her to “just be patient” in every situation is not justice—it actually supports cruelty. Islam gives a woman dignity, protection, and justice; it does not force her to live helplessly under abuse.
Answered by
Mufti Tosif Qasmi
April 09, 2026
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