Respecting Parents vs Obedience in Islam

In Islam, respecting parents is obligatory, whether they are good or bad. Allah says in the Quran: “Treat your parents with kindness” (Surah Luqman 31:14). This means we should always treat our parents with gentleness, respect, and honor. However, obedience is required only in matters that are lawful and good. If a parent commands something sinful or wrong, it is not obligatory to obey. As the Prophet ﷺ said: “A parent does not command sin” – a parent can never command one to commit a sin. In summary, respecting and honoring parents is mandatory, but obedience in sinful or undesirable matters is not required.

If a father does not fulfill the rights of the mother or children, try to guide him with gentleness and love rather than harshness. Praying for him is also very beneficial. An easy practice is to recite “اللّٰہُمّ اهْدِ والديّ للطريق المستقيم”11 times after every prayer, meaning “O Allah! Guide my father to the straight path”. Along with this, sincerely pray that Allah shows him the right way and grants him the ability to fulfill the rights of the family.