How Should We Deal With a Father Involved in Pornography and Possible Shirk?
Question
Salam aleykoum Wa rahmatullah, We are at a loss regarding our father and would like some guidance on how to handle the situation So about the situation: My father educated us is Islam to believe and only ask god anything never go looking for answers elsewhere he is 74 years we recently discovered that he is seemingly addicted to pornography and not only that but he has pictures of talisman and also talismans that he himself made and wrote At first we didnât tell anything to our mom we prayed and asked Allah to guide him back to him (he spends a lot of time alone in Morocco) and so we started to call him more often videos calls with all of us so he would maybe feel less lonely and spend less time doing such things but sadly the matter escalated during this Ramadan (he came back and is with us) we realized that even during the holy month of Ramadan he still watches these bad contents and even worse at first I had told my sister not to tell anything to our mom but after a video went on the tv-screen ,video shared by his phone (obviously not willingly but by mistake) of a woman acting inappropriatly my sister had enough and told my mom that it came from his phone and explained that she saw many more things on his phone and among them a picture of a woman which my sister and I didnât know. My mother couldnât believe her at first and kept saying our dad isnât that kind of manâĻ We couldnât figure out who was that woman but when my sister told everything to my mom and showed her the pictur my mom understood immediately She is our neighborâs daughter in Morocco she is an unmarried woman in her 40-50ies. During this Ramadan after my sister spoke with her she kept looking everywhere in the bedroom and on his phone to check if she could find anything new and one day she found a paper under his bed in which he himself drew a star with written things his name and the neighbors daughterâs name asking a certain name 3 times (not allahâs sadly) that she falls in love with him and he even drew a head with eyes and horns We are obviously shocked and deeply hurt we tried speaking indirectly about shirk in Islam just as a topic not telling him we knew, he answered saying things like shirk is bad and even thinking that someone other than Allah can help you even just with food or things when youâre in need is shirk. My mom said she saw no change in his behavior so she asked my brother to speak with him and so he did and told him he knew everything and asked why he did those things and he acted like it was nothing and said things such as regarding the bad content( these things keep coming on my phone I wanted to throw that thing many times and being a bit vague) And about the drawing with his name and the neighbors and a name to whom he asked 3 times to make her fall for him he just said (oh thatâs nothing thatâs just me testing things)âĻ We thought it would make him think make him realize what he is doing is bad make him realize that he is going the wrong path and Allah showed us maybe so we could help him maybe Allah hasnât given up on him but sadly again nothing ,no change we just donât find anything on his phone again but my mom said he clearly hasnât realized anything because he hasnât shed a single tearâĻ. (My dad while giving us dars used to cry while speaking about prophets stories and how Allah guided them) but his heart seems to be unreachable. My mom is desperate and doesnât know what to do because he never spoke the matter with her even if she is waiting for him to and she keeps crying almost everyday . I can count I one hand the few times I saw my mom cry in my whole life. I am heartbroken but feel so powerless Jazakallahu khairan
Islamic Ruling & Answer
VerifiedWalekumussalam warahmatullahi wabaraktu,
The situation you have described is truly painful and a difficult test. But instead of losing hope, it is important to handle it with wisdom and patience.
First, understand that watching inappropriate content and trying to control someone through talismans or similar practices is not allowed in Islam. In fact, it may even lead to shirk (associating partners with Allah), which is a very serious sin.
In such matters, being harsh or exposing him is not the best approach. It is more effective to speak with kindness, wisdom, and sincerity. Try to take your father out of loneliness, spend time with him, and gently help him realize that this path is wrong, while maintaining love and respect. You can also involve a trusted scholar or elder to advise him.
At the same time, all of you should make a lot of dua for him, because only Allah can change hearts. Support your mother as well, encourage her to be patient, and stand by her during this time.
You can recite these verses over water for your father and then give it to him to drink:
Surah Al-Fatiha (7 times)
Ayat al-Kursi (3 or 7 times)
اŲŲŲŲ°ŲŲ ŲŲØ§ ØĨŲŲŲŲ°ŲŲ ØĨŲŲŲŲØ§ ŲŲŲŲ Ø§ŲŲØŲŲŲŲ Ø§ŲŲŲŲŲŲŲŲŲ Ų ... (Ų ÚŠŲ Ų ØĸÛØĒ)
Mu'awwidhatayn (Surah Al-Falaq and Surah An-Naas) â 3 times each
ŲŲŲŲ ØŖŲØšŲŲØ°Ų Ø¨ŲØąŲبŲŲ Ø§ŲŲŲŲŲŲŲŲ âĻ
ŲŲŲŲ ØŖŲØšŲŲØ°Ų Ø¨ŲØąŲبŲŲ Ø§ŲŲŲŲØ§ØŗŲ âĻ
Method:
Recite all of these over water and gently blow into it. Make this intention:
âO Allah, free my father from every sin, bad habit, and misguidance, and guide his heart.â
Then give this water to him to drink.
Also, recite this dua along with it, In shaa Allah it will be beneficial:
اŲŲŲŲ°ŲŲŲ ŲŲ Ø§ŲŲØ¯ŲŲŲ ŲŲØŖŲØĩŲŲŲØŲ ŲŲŲŲØ¨ŲŲŲ ŲŲØ§ØĩŲØąŲŲŲ ØšŲŲŲŲŲ Ø§ŲØŗŲŲŲØĄŲ ŲŲØ§ŲŲŲŲØŲØ´ŲØ§ØĄŲ
Translation:
âO Allah, guide him, correct his heart, and keep him away from evil and immorality.â
May Allah grant your father complete guidance.
Aameen.
Answered by
Mufti Tosif Qasmi
March 31, 2026
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