Question
Hello, I need guidance regarding my divorce situation. My husband divorced me, but the circumstances are very complicated. Both of us come from broken families and neither of us had a healthy or easy upbringing. I have ongoing mental health struggles, possibly BPD, where it sometimes feels like two different people live inside me. One part of me irrationally resents him, even though he treats me well, and I end up playing the victim, blaming him, and asking for divorce during my emotional breakdowns. The first divorce happened due to a valid reason related to his familyโs political issues, and he needed to keep me safe. The second divorce occurred during one of my mental breakdowns when I made him feel that he wasnโt good for me, even though the real issue was within me. The third divorce happened for the same reasonโmy mental breakdown and unstable emotionsโand it occurred while I was on my menses. He never truly wanted to divorce me. He has always said he will never leave me, but if I truly wanted to go, he would let me. My actions made him feel that I was unhappy with him, even though my main struggle is with myself. I often donโt understand why I act this way, fight, blame him, or act like a victim, despite him loving me and treating me well. I want to know, considering our mental states, our difficult family backgrounds, that I was on my menses, and the circumstances, if this divorce is valid, and whether there is any way for us to reconcile. Also, I would like to know if I can follow the opinion of Ibn Taymiyyah, which states that a divorce during menstruation may not be valid.
Islamic Ruling & Answer
Verified(1) If your husband pronounced divorce clearly on three separate occasions (whether in anger, under pressure, or at your request), then according to the majority of jurists (Hanafi, Shafiโi, Maliki), all three divorces are considered valid. In this case, the marriage is completely terminated, and it is not permissible for both of you to live together again.
(2) Giving divorce during menstruation is sinful and against the Sunnah, but according to the majority of scholars, the divorce still takes effect.
However, Ibn Taymiyyah and some other scholars are of the opinion that a divorce given during menstruation does not take effect. But this is a minority (weak) opinion against the majority, and fatwa is generally not given on this viewโespecially in cases involving three divorces.
(3) Your condition (such as BPD or severe emotional breakdowns) is truly understandable and deserves empathy. However, in Islamic law, the main consideration for the validity of divorce is the husbandโs words and intention.
Yes, if the husband was completely out of his senses, or in a state of insanity/severe mental instability where he had no awareness of what he was saying, then the divorce would not take place.
But in cases of anger, pressure, or divorce given at the wifeโs insistence, the divorce is considered valid.
(4) If three divorces have indeed occurred, then:
It is not permissible for you to remarry each other directly
Unless, according to Islamic law, the woman marries another man in a genuine marriage, lives as husband and wife, and then that marriage ends naturally (through divorce or death). This process must not be pre-planned.
(5)From your situation, it is clear that the main issue is your internal emotional struggle, not just the relationship itself. Therefore
You should consult a qualified Muslim psychologist or counselor
Work on understanding and managing your emotions
This is not a sin but may be a psychological condition that requires proper treatment..
However, if you wish to follow the opinion of Ibn Taymiyyah, this is a sensitive and complex matter. You should consult a qualified mufti in person with full details before making a decision.
Answered by
Mufti Tosif Qasmi
April 09, 2026
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